*develops new crush* *looks up star sign compatibility instead of actually talking to them*
yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm
yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.
And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.
this is the best thing ive ever heard
won’t drink lukewarm water but i’ll put another person’s genitals in my mouth
stop leaking female celebrities nudes and start leaking the sims 4
The idea of your lips was foreign,
But after i kissed you,
Holy fuck I couldnt get enough,
You were like my drug,
I was addicted to you.
I am addicted to you. ❞
Its 3am and my thoughts are on you again (via justanother-fuckedup-paper-girl)
remember like 2 years ago when christmas stopped feeling like christmas for some reason
This post creeps me out because it is absolutely true
WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRISTMAS
Moving is stressful. Stay at home forever.
Octopuses are going to kill us all someday
I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.
Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank
Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.
An octopus in Germany was annoyed by a bright light shining into his tank, so he climbed up over the rim and squirted water at it to short it.
Fuckin’ octopuses, man.
No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.
We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
(Dead Poets Society, 1989)